Read me a.k.a. The Navel Gazing Moment n°1 : La jeune fille de l'eau

So. I'm a French writer. I think I'm quite good at that. But, I have a bunch of English speakers around me. Happily I also have a very good friend who accepted to correct my translation of a text I already posted here in French (Thank a lot to my English baby Faye Chandler).Just to explain how I wrote that: I have written a story that came to my mind with the title of M. Night Shymalan's movie "La jeune fille de l'eau". It has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. That just came out of brain! I hope you'll enjoy it !

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La Jeune fille de l’eau (French title of M. Night Shyamalan’s “Lady in the Water”)

10h22. She’ll be here soon. In a few minutes, she’ll be here. How’s my hair? Hmm not too bad. Nothing between my teeth either? No? Good. Shit! I forgot to put some aftershave on this morning!! Well, considering she can’t won’t have smelt it through my office door, it doesn’t matter that much. But what if I want to talk to her? Oh well, it doesn’t matter. But it would have been better… I’m gonna wait for tomorrow then. No, no, no. That’s another excuse for you to duck out, no way dude. Not this time. Too easy. This time, you do it.

10h23. So. I should look like I have a lot to do, looks better. This way, she’s gonna think I’m a super important guy and all, with high responsibilities, yeah that’s good. I open this file, spread a few sheets of paper like that. Okay. Dammit. It’s too messy now. Maybe I should tidy a little. But then if I look too busy, what will she think? That I’ll never have a single minute for her. And maybe she doesn’t like too important people or people who take on airs and stuff like that. Stay modest. Busy, certainly, but modest. Voilà. And as soon as she arrives, I pick up my phone and act as if I’m totally focused on my work. Yeah but that’s stupid. I’m not gonna pick up my phone just to hang up right after. It’s not as if shes gonna stay for hours, so… No. Forget the phone. I should type something on my computer instead. So that as soon as she’s here: bam, I see her, wave at her, and I just have to go talk to her. Perfect.

10h24. Ok. Talk to her. Yeah. What am I gonna say? Where do I start? “Hi, what’s up?” That’s nice and friendly. But it’s the first time I’m gonna talk to her: I’m not her mate. “Good Morning, what’s up?” that’s better. Or “Good Morning, how are you?” Even better. But that might be a bit too formal. Somehow it also shows I respect her. No, I’m gonna go for « Hi, how are you today? », that’s neutral, fine. Then I should follow with one or two banalities. The weather. That should do it. It always does. « Hey, weather is fine today, isn’t it? » Well that’s ridiculous, I’m not her hairdresser. Or the news? Well, I don’t think it’s a good idea to speak about the recent fatal accident with the girl you’re trying to seduce. She always has a MP3 on her! That’s good! « Hey, I was wondering what you’re listening to? » or « Have you heard the latest Coldplay title? » Well that’s a hit! Except if she doesn’t like that music at all then that’s ruined. What if she’s listening to something I hate? What am I gonna say? And I’ll be so disappointed… And how do I follow on with asking her out on a date? It’s gonna be tricky. Unless I find a concert in town that she would like. And then I ask her out. But I don’t know what kind of music she likes. And a concert is not overly romantic as a first date. Or I could just go for: “Hi, how are you? Had a nice weekend?» Sure. Sure! You’ve never talked this girl, she doesn’t even know you, and you’re gonna ask her straight out if she had a nice weekend. You idiot! Or maybe I could go for: « Hi, how are you –ok that’s ok and then- I was thinking it‘s a shame to see each other every week and never speak!” Et voilààà! Perfect! Exactly what I need! And then, its either make or break: either she says yes and that’s awesome, or she says “meh” and I’m stuffed.

10h25. Come on, time! Go by! I’m so ready right now! Ok. Let’s take advantage of the spare time we have. How should I ask her out then: “I was wondering if some day you would like to…” No. Too wimpy. “Hey would you have a drink with me?” Or see a movie? I don’t know. That might be too soon. I should start talking to her this week, and then next week, and do it again the week after that while spending more and more time with her and in three weeks, I’ll be ready! I’ll try and ask her out! But that’s gonna be so long… I already wasted so much time deciding to finally talk to her. I don’t wanna lose one more minute. Problem is: she might think that I’m moving too fast. If she’s kind of shy, she’ll be frightened. Come on dude, she’s not a hind at bay in the middle of the woods… Stop thinking bullshit. But won’t she think I’m too eager for her? Although, if she hasn’t noticed me staring at her since she first came here, there’s a problem. Every week. I don’t miss any of her visits. Every Monday, around 10:30 am. I’ve been waiting for her & watching her so often that I now know how she feels only by the way she looks. If she’s tired, she won’t put much make up on. She’s not usually wearing a lot of make-up anyway. If she’s in a good mood, she hums the music she’s listening too (by the way, had I been less stupid, I would have listened carefully to learn about her music tastes). I always wonder if her hair will be tied back or not. I like it when she doesn’t tie her hair back, she looks like a princess in a fairy tale, with those long curls raining down on her shoulders. But finally, I think I like it better when she ties her hair back. First because this way her smooth and delicate white neck appears. Secondly because she leaves a few locks of hair fall down on the sides of her face which makes her even more beautiful than she already is. But I like it more especially because there are days, when I’m lucky enough, she stays a bit longer to fix back her hair. I win a few more moments to look at her ... But the moment I cherish the most is paradoxically the moment she’s going to leave. Cause when she does, she turns back and inevitably she waves and smiles at me. She smiles at me! If only she knew. If only she knew that I only get up on Mondays mornings because of that smile. I keep going only because of that smile. But it’s also that smile that makes me take a new look at myself and wonder: Am I good enough for her? Does she find me handsome? Why have I not been brave enough to talk to her? Will I dare try someday? If only she knew…

10h26. I can’t spend a day without thinking how it would be to date her. To talk to her. To look at her and having her looking back at me, straight in the eyes. To run my hand through her hair. To kiss her. To hold her hand in the street. Must be incredible to hold hands with a girl like her while all the other guys look at you and wonder how the hell you managed to get her. I picture myself telling her that story, telling her about all that moments spent dreaming about her, preparing every single word I would say. I picture myself telling her the awaken dreams I had imagining our first kiss, with a scenario getting more and more crazy each time. I mean: they were really insane! I even imagined huge catastrophies happening so that she would have to shelter in my –arms- office, or meaning I would have to save her, being an admirable hero kissing the beautiful woman in distress at the end of the movie… Yeah. Well… Actually, total nonsense. Whatever, I spent my most beautiful nights dreaming about that! My most tortured ones too. Cause imagining her in my arms makes me so happy it somehow becomes painful. When my dream is over, I come back to the cruel reality, reminding me that she’s not mine… That ain’t easy. A curious sensation emerges in my belly, digs a huge hole in me, tears me apart from the inside. It’s painful. So painful I would cry. My heart breaks into so many pieces I feel like it can never be put together again. So my hopes of being with her go up in smoke. And when I think there’s nothing left of it, she arrives, smiles at me and all the great fealings are born again. Bigger, stronger. I want to tell her all that, right here, right now but I can’t. I’m not strong enough. And not brave enough. Stop it, dude! Pull yourself together. You can’t start crying, she’ll be here soon and you sure don’t want her to see you like that. And anyway, I can’t tell her all that here, at my office door, next to the water bottle she’s here to refill them, in a hall where one of my colleagues could show up at any time. One day I’ll tell her she has to come every week because of me. I drink almost the entire bottle myself. And every Friday, I never leave unless the bottle is empty, to be sure she’ll have to come on Monday. Excellent idea. But that makes me pee a lot. But that’s something I won’t tell her.

10h27. Dammit! Whos knocking at my door now? She’ll be here in a minute I don’t have time to waste!! Geez! That’s her: la jeune fille de l’eau.